No Businesswoman - sorry Mr Sugar

In the aftermath of my financial panic something kicked in. Realisation that I'm not cut out for the business world. I know nothing about marketing and advertising. I'm fickle, don't have a plan or stategy for selling. So it's sunk.

I gave it three years, reflecting on it - towards the end of the first year I made a big mistake, I was selling well and was very busy, I had my eye on a competitor and when I think about it I was 3 months ahead in my products. (Sold body jewellery via ebay and QXL) I had the chance to take it up a notch and extend the range, decided not to because of my knowledge in the area and guess what - the competitor did exactly that 2 months later. That was the beginning of my problems. Can see it clearly now.

So I changed my product lines , continued with jewellery, but became more mainstream, earrings, necklaces etc, even making some. All was well for a while. Then it seems the goal posts moved on ebay with less visibility and fee increases, I was just falling into financial difficulties and things were touching desperate, I think that reflected in my approach to selling.

I called it a day in late October 2006. Took a month off, and then completely changed my market to music and media. Christmas was good, had dreams (always been dreams) of a market stall, but my April I was struggling again. Hundreds of competitors, and a fading product.

Here I am late June, admitted I can't do this. Too risky. I'd rather work as a kitchen porter with a steady wage than continue this risky business, never knowing how much I'm going to earn each month. Literally living off tax credits during the bad times. I want more security than that.

I got myself a nice housekeeping job yesterday, 4 days a week with a decent wage so I can get back to a level playing field. I will continue selling in the background, but I'm pleased I have done this.

I have the utmost admiration for true business orientated people, I honestly don't think it's something I can learn, because I certainly wasn't born with business acumen.

I won't be applying for the Apprentice any time soon.